Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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