In America we eat man semen.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
