I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
don't judge my taste in strippers
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
