You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Nicole vs. Life
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
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