what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
