we have officially lost it.
6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Randomize
