Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
I think i got beer on your cat.
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