Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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