I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Sober January is a disaster.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
