If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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