STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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