I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
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