If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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