I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
