I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Randomize
