his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
