whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Randomize
