3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Randomize
