she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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