They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
