the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
