What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Randomize
