I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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