she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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