If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
