I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
