Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize
