it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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