imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Randomize
