its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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