you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize