That's intense
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
