we're blogging at a bar
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
