i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
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