I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
