I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
