from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
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What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
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Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
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