So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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