So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Sext me about skeletons
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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