i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
