so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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