I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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