I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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