Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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