I wish i was in the wii world.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
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