Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
You pole danced in your parka.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Randomize
