Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
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