Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize