just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
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