I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
