just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
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