if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
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