Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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