I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
