it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
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