we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
This gyro tastes like lonliness
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
