oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Where are you guys?
Drunk
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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