Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
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