Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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