I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Randomize
