thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize