You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
